The Carat-based Grudge Grading System

Carats, as you might already know, are used to measure the weight of diamonds. I think grudges are precious, like diamonds, so I like the idea of a carat-based system!

Here’s how to grade a grudge. Call your grudge to mind and answer the following questions about it:

1. Was the intention of the grudgee:

a) definitely or probably bad
b) possibly bad
c) not bad

2. Did they know they were upsetting, hurting, annoying or being unfair to you/someone you care about?

a) Yes, definitely
b) Possibly
c) Not at all

3. Was the overall situation:

a) very serious
b) quite serious
c) not very serious

4. Was the effect upon you of what they did or said:

a) very bad
b) quite bad
c) not so bad

5. Should or could they have known/done better?

a) yes
b) maybe
c) no

6. Did they cause you/somebody real harm?

a) yes
b) maybe
c) no

7. Is the ‘Grrrr!’ factor of this grudge:

a) high
b) medium
c) low

8. Have you held this grudge:

a) for ages, or, for not very long but you know it’ll last forever
b) for a medium length of time, or, for a short time and you think you’ll hold it for a bit longer but not for ever
c) for a short time, and you’ll probably have given up this grudge by next week

For each of your answers to the above questions, award your grudge 3 points for an a) answer, 2 for a b) answer and 1 for a c) answer. You’ll then have a total number of points. Take this number forward to the next part of the grading process…

9. Would this incident, alone, be sufficient to make you hold a grudge about this person or people:

a) yes
b) no, only with other incidents taken into account too

If you answered a), your total points remain unchanged. If you answered b), deduct 1 point from your total.

10. Would something bad or frightening have happened to your grudgee if they hadn’t performed the grudge-sparking action?

a) no
b) yes

If you answered a), your total points remain unchanged. If you answered b), deduct 1 point from your total.

11. Would this grudge be cancelled out/terminated if your grudgee apologised fully and whole-heartedly?

a) no
b) yes

If you answered a), your total points remain unchanged. If you answered b), deduct 1 point from your total.

12. Is your grudgee someone who matters to you, and to whom you matter?

a) yes, massively
b) yes, quite a lot
c) not especially — only as a fellow human being

If you answered a), add 4 points. If you answered b), add 2 points. lf c), leave your score as it is.

Well done! Your grudge now has a total amount of points, in the form of a number. Now for the grading:

13 points or fewer = a 1 carat grudge
14 points = a 2 carat grudge
15 points = a 3 carat grudge
16 points = a 4 carat grudge
17 points = a 5 carat grudge
18 points = a 6 carat grudge
19 points = a 7 carat grudge
20 – 22 points = an 8 carat grudge
22 – 24 points = a 9 carat grudge
25 or above = a 10 carat grudge

A 10-carat grudge is the strongest, biggest, most powerful kind of grudge a person can hold. Ideally, your grudge cabinet should have a good mix of all the different carats.

RECENT GRUDGES OF THE WEEK

the Grudges will each have a  featured image and a bit of blurb and these will be pulled in below so that people can read previous Grudge’s from the past weeks.

“My friend Hilary, when asked for a definition, said, ‘Oh, a grudge is when something from ages ago is Still A Thing – capital letters. It might have happened years ago, but you know it’ll never be Not a Thing.’ This is sort of what I mean when I talk about a live charge. A past incident that has a live charge in the present is Still A Thing.’”