The Carat-based Grudge Grading System

Carats, as you might already know, are used to measure the weight of diamonds. I think grudges are precious, like diamonds, so I like the idea of a carat-based system!

Here’s how to grade a grudge. Call your grudge to mind and answer the following questions about it:

1. Was the intention of the grudgee:

a) definitely or probably bad
b) possibly bad
c) not bad

2. Did they know they were upsetting, hurting, annoying or being unfair to you/someone you care about?

a) Yes, definitely
b) Possibly
c) Not at all

3. Was the overall situation:

a) very serious
b) quite serious
c) not very serious

4. Was the effect upon you of what they did or said:

a) very bad
b) quite bad
c) not so bad

5. Should or could they have known/done better?

a) yes
b) maybe
c) no

6. Did they cause you/somebody real harm?

a) yes
b) maybe
c) no

7. Is the ‘Grrrr!’ factor of this grudge:

a) high
b) medium
c) low

8. Have you held this grudge:

a) for ages, or, for not very long but you know it’ll last forever
b) for a medium length of time, or, for a short time and you think you’ll hold it for a bit longer but not for ever
c) for a short time, and you’ll probably have given up this grudge by next week

For each of your answers to the above questions, award your grudge 3 points for an a) answer, 2 for a b) answer and 1 for a c) answer. You’ll then have a total number of points. Take this number forward to the next part of the grading process…

9. Would this incident, alone, be sufficient to make you hold a grudge about this person or people:

a) yes
b) no, only with other incidents taken into account too

If you answered a), your total points remain unchanged. If you answered b), deduct 1 point from your total.

10. Would something bad or frightening have happened to your grudgee if they hadn’t performed the grudge-sparking action?

a) no
b) yes

If you answered a), your total points remain unchanged. If you answered b), deduct 1 point from your total.

11. Would this grudge be cancelled out/terminated if your grudgee apologised fully and whole-heartedly?

a) no
b) yes

If you answered a), your total points remain unchanged. If you answered b), deduct 1 point from your total.

12. Is your grudgee someone who matters to you, and to whom you matter?

a) yes, massively
b) yes, quite a lot
c) not especially — only as a fellow human being

If you answered a), add 4 points. If you answered b), add 2 points. lf c), leave your score as it is.

Well done! Your grudge now has a total amount of points, in the form of a number. Now for the grading:

13 points or fewer = a 1 carat grudge
14 points = a 2 carat grudge
15 points = a 3 carat grudge
16 points = a 4 carat grudge
17 points = a 5 carat grudge
18 points = a 6 carat grudge
19 points = a 7 carat grudge
20 – 22 points = an 8 carat grudge
22 – 24 points = a 9 carat grudge
25 or above = a 10 carat grudge

A 10-carat grudge is the strongest, biggest, most powerful kind of grudge a person can hold. Ideally, your grudge cabinet should have a good mix of all the different carats.


the Grudges will each have a  featured image and a bit of blurb and these will be pulled in below so that people can read previous Grudge’s from the past weeks.

About devastating historical events and atrocities, we often say, ‘Never forget’. Why? Is it that we want to extend the suffering for as long as possible? No, of course not — it’s because we know that history (the horrible bits of it especially) contains useful lessons and warnings that we would be fools to ignore.

Yet about upsetting personal incidents, we often hear people say, ‘Don’t hold a grudge. Move on, for your own sake.’ Every time we say this, we are effectively asking someone to forget the important warnings and lessons from their own life history.

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