HOW TO HOLD A GRUDGE – THE PODCAST
Many of us believe it’s always wrong, and bad for us, to hold a grudge. But what if our grudges, when handled correctly, can be positively good for us and for others?
What if grudges are actually great — not a cause for guilt, but exactly what we need to lead a happier, safer, more fulfilled life? Join me and special guests to find out all about the power of grudges to transform your life for the better and to make the world a more peaceful and compassionate place.
Listen to the Podcast Trailer!
Listen to the Podcast Trailer!
Episode #1 : Grudges can be great
In this first episode, I explain what made me – a crime writer and poet – decide I had to write a self-help book on the subject of grudges. I’ll be talking about why I’m firmly convinced that our grudges can and should be good for us. I’ll explain how, precisely, we can benefit from our grudges, and I’ll be joined by special guests psychotherapist Helen Acton and mentor, coach, meditation teacher and therapist Anne Grey, to discuss grudges in all their glory.
Aired 25th October 2018
Episode #2 : A GRUDGE IS NOT A FEELING
This week, I’m talking about why a grudge is not, and cannot be, a feeling. And if it isn’t a feeling, then why do nearly all the available dictionary definitions tell us that it is? What would be a more accurate and helpful definition of the word ‘grudge’ that doesn’t discourage us from holding them? Also in this episode: some brilliant grudge poems by my two favourite living poets: Wendy Cope and Nic Aubury.
Aired 1st November 2018
Episode #3 : SUGAR COATING VERSUS POSITIVE THINKING
When we describe our latest grudge to a friend, they might say something designed to try and cheer us up. How we’re likely to feel about their intervention will depend on whether they’re sugar-coating or offering us something genuinely positive. In this episode, I’ll be looking at the differences between the two approaches, and how to distinguish one from the other. Join me, Helen Acton and Anne Grey as we discuss how to embrace but not inflame negative feelings.
Aired 8th November 2018
Episode #4 : GRUDGE TYPES — THE COMMON & THE RARE
This week, I’m doing some in-depth analysis of the various grudge types. How many different grudge species are there, and how should we classify and arrange them? I’m going to look at some everyday varieties and also some rare specimens. Join me to see if you can think of any sub-genres of grudge that I’ve not yet identified!
Aired 15th November 2018
Episode #5 : HOW GRUDGES CAN MAKE US MORE FORGIVING
Holding grudges is perceived by almost everybody as the opposite of forgiving. You either forgive and move on, or else you don’t forgive and you hold a grudge instead, right? Wrong. In this episode, I explain why holding grudges, as a practice, is precisely what you should be doing if you want to become a more forgiving person and enhance your ability to move on after a transgression or hurt.
Aired 22nd November 2018
Episode #6 : GRUDGES, JUSTICE & KARMA
This week I’m joined by Helen Acton and Anne Grey. We’ll be discussing the relationship between grudges, justice and karma. Is karma a real thing, and, if it is, does that mean that the universe holds grudges, and cares about justice?
Aired 29th November 2018
Episode #7 : GRUDGES ARE ABOUT, NOT AGAINST
This week, I’m talking about ‘about’. I believe we should always say we have a grudge ‘about’ somebody, not a grudge ‘against’ somebody, and I explain why the language we use around grudges matters. Also: can our grudgees benefit from the grudges we have about them?
Aired 6th December 2018
Episode #8 : SIX WAYS A GRUDGE CAN IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
Still not convinced that grudges are great or that holding them is good for you? Join me this week to find out six concrete ways in which a grudge can enhance the life of its holder!
Aired 13th December 2018
Episode #9 : LISTENERS' QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Since I started this podcast, listeners have been sending in their thoughts and questions. This week’s episode is devoted entirely to answering those questions and responding to issued raised. These include: ‘Is it ever okay to tell someone that you don’t believe their grudge is justified/grudgeworthy?’ and ‘Why do some people hold more grudges than others?’
Aired 20th December
Episode #10 : FESTIVE GRUDGES
It’s the holiday season! Grudges abound! Join me and poet Nic Aubury for a festive analysis of why we’re more likely to accumulate powerful grudges during ‘special occasion’ times of year than at any other time. Also, I’ll be giving you my list of Seasonal Grudge Tips and New Year’s Grudge Resolutions!
Aired 27th December
“There is no one — not one single person on earth — to whom I wouldn’t give a second chance. I also have more grudges than anyone I know, and a greater interest in and appetite for them. These two statements do not contradict each other. They fit together perfectly once you understand that holding grudges is the ideal route to being a more forgiving and happier person.”